Breakfast.

I guess i wasnt really happy with the way how you really treat a guy who likes you. I tried so hard to be always there for you. But where were you when i need you the most? Talkin through the phone with another. I said i didnt have a good day and yea, you jst replied you'l talk to me next time. You dnt know how it feels to see that reply. You didnt even concern about what happened. When i really have nowhere to go. Was out there in the night with no key to the damn 'extra' lock. A night passed and the next day was your exam. I didnt want you to be late for it and hungry when you'r doing your paper. Went to buy breakfast to her house and yea her mom opened the door, went in t sit while waiting. I knew she would either be surprised or angry with me. And yea she wasnt surprised. I jst wonder which guy would do all these to that extent. Asked to leave. And I did. I wasnt really well appreciated from the quick shut of the door jst as i step out of the house. I wonder what am i really doing, and if i did sth wrong again. Alright enough said, i really shouldnt be like this anymore. It jst doesnt touches your heart with all these shit things i did. So jst forget about being me anymore, i'v tried to care about you more and being nice to you after you said im bad to you, i changed since then, and for many months im always trying and trying, and i get all these. I really dnt understand if thats the way you treat a guy you liked.

You didnt.

Saw her yst at her void deck. Was so happy and i missed her alot. I guess she did too. So we walked ard talkin abt our stuffs. I asked how was she and all. Yeap. It has been 2 weeks since i last saw her. She asked me to go her house accompany her study, because jacky and pals were fishing at the pond near her house. So i went to dw house to stay, so it'l be nearer to go her house. I asked why you not going study with marc and all. You told me no need because you had all the answer sheets. I was overjoyed to hear that, really. I thought i could accompany you again. You told me you shouldnt hug or kiss me when you see me, but you jst couldnt help it. You told me you wont be with me even if so. But im willing to wait, babe. Knowing you'l eventually be mine, i would wait as long as i have to. Her mom called several times and she had to go home. So i walked her to her door. We hugged gently and off she went into her house. She said she's tired so she wont be calling me. And yea while i was back with jacky and all, she called, i guessed it was her when my phone rang. I was surprised, and also really glad that she called. We talked not kinda long but yea i enjoyed talkin to you. It was ages since we last talked like this alr. And yea you were tired so i asked you to go and sleep. Reminiscing how you jst hold me so tight and talked to me, i thought you really changed.

I went to dw house to sleep for the night. and waited for you. I woke up at 9+ checkd my phone for your call or msges and went back to sleep. Again 12pm i woke up and checkd, dw had alr went to school at 11am to fetch merlyn. I was so excited i couldnt wait to see you again, so i woke up and waited. I thought you would feel this way too. I knew you were still asleep so i msged to remind you to call me when i can go over to your place. I woke up and lay there, jst staring into space. But at 3 49pm you msged, telling me you'r going out to study and remind me to help you to do the transaction. I thought you ask me to go outside study with you. So i called to ask. You told me you'r not meeting me anymore.

"Why?"
"i told you see how yst night alr"

So i stoned there, i was at a lost of words. I was really disappointed man, seriously. There was a moment of silence. And jacky called. I said "hold on" and i answered his call. And i heard you hanged my call alr. I tried to call back, you didnt want to pick up. So i pack my things and went to bathe, i brought my phone in, even hoping and thinking that you'd feel sth, turn them down and ask me to find you. But you did not. I knew i had to go home. Bathed and all i went down and walk towards your house. Texted you "really not gna meet me instead of your friends? Im under your block." You didnt reply. So i waited downstairs.

Im used to all these waiting and all, but i didnt think that you'l really do this so suddenly even in my dreams. Alright, seriously im so disappointed and upset, jst dnt know why would you rather meet them than me. You can see them in school everyday! And i really thought you'd change somehow a little. Alright, im all wrong. I gta go for a puff right now.

I miss you babe.

I was so surprised to see you. Its been a week plus i last see your face. I really missed you alot. But i dont know what to say to you. You asked me where im going, i was at a lost of words. I jst wna hug you tight and say i love and miss you! But i wouldnt dare to, im afraid you'd push me away and what your friends think about me. Even without waiting for my reply you walked straight to your friends, you wasnt interested to talk to me i guess. You didnt call for me even you first saw me, you jst walked away as if we'r strangers, you stopped walkin til i call your name. I have a phobia with your expression you gave me when you saw me. Because she gave me that expression too during prom night. It was exactly the same expression. You were close to your friends, from the pat on your back i saw he did. I dont know what to do and went up quickly. I was thinking alot, and was quiet throughout with them. Only Dw cheered me up and told me not to let my imagination run wild, and i really appreciate it man, thanks. I thought you would msg or call me so i waited, but you did not. Jacky,wq, jl and hh went clarke quay to have fun. I went nowhere. Jst nowhere. I wanted to call you to meet you but i didnt have the guts. Im afraid to irritate you again. Dw said if you still have some feelings for me, you would call me, and asked me to wait for your call. Hmm nth to do, after exams now, nobody to mix with. They have their life, caring abt their own gfs and stuffs. It was like losing a part of me now, it seems to be runnin away from me and not return. Im so afraid, i didnt want this relationship to be like the last. But i couldnt do anything. How i wish we'd be like last time, at least i can show my care and concern abt you. I missed you givin' me attitude when we'r out tgt, quarrels we had, happiness and laughters we had. I missed your everything. I'v tried but there's nth i could do to have you and your attention. I cant do anything now but, wait...

I'l be alright, perhaps.

I felt so empty. Jst like nobody's there for me. Friends were all busy and i really dnt know what to do. My heart jst sensed sth wrong. The way you react to me and all. Perhaps you don't like me anymore where another comes into you life. But please do tell me, i will try to take the blow. It'l blow me down long, or maybe forever. I dont have the guts to see you. Im jst not as welcomed as before...

Mild seven.

Its 1 28am right now and i have Accounting exams tmr! But fortunately in the afternoon. Yeap. Dnt really have any mood today to study man. Was studyin with jy at the Macdonalds' near tampines interchange. We smoked and smoked, at least it helped me numbed some unhappy stuffs. I wasnt really much appreciated for msgin and calling you. Guess im irritating thou. But im jst showing my concern. You dont like it anyway. I'v really tried so hard to really accomodate and show less of my concern. And i even tried not to contact you that often. You wont even call me back either, not even a pure little concern. We'r jst like strangers. Perhaps we really are now. You seem jst cant wait to get rid of me. Maybe you really hate me that much. We'r happy together, but out of a sudden, you changed into another person. I really couldnt tell anybody about it. It wont help much either. Keepin' it to myself deep in my heart is like a spiked-torch. Really bled my heart out and hurtin so much. I dare not go to you anymore. I'l jst wait, and bleed in my shell.

Finally !

Finally i can go into blogger again. Its been ages i'd last blogged. (;

When love hurts, it won't work baby.

Days passed, we had lots a happy moments together. I guess i will miss those times. I said i will let go, i will have to do it. It isnt the first time i say it but perhaps this will be the time i really have to. Its jst too pain for me. I wait for your calls, for your msges, for your reply, and your attention babe. Its too tirin', you didnt ask me to wait but its jst my normal reaction towards you. I remembered times i bring lunch to your home everyday. Its tiring but i guessed i enjoyed it i have to say. Jst cant bear to see you hungry. I tried my best to change for you, perhaps its not enough. You'r one girl which could hurt me alot inside. And i guess you are one who i really loved most. I kept hangin' on, holdin you tight not lettin' you go. Perhaps you wont be fortunate with me. So i guess i should stop. You dont seem to care about how i feel inside, and to know how i feel for you babe. Im always jealous about you talkn to other guys, maybe im wrong. I shouldnt, b'cause you aint no mine. I jst couldnt stop thinkn about you, in the morning sittin on my bed the first thing i thought about was you. I guess this relationship may not come back anymore. Im sorry, i have to stop holdn you back. I should'v let you find your right guy. So i guess i wont be steppin into your life and mess up everythin anymre. Its harder than said, but i'l jst have to try, even if i couldn't, you wont like me as before or hold me back -- you'v let go many guys before, so i guess i wil be one of them soon. Love u babe. <3


i will miss sayin those words to you babe. "You know today i woke up, i saw sth this big. Wow. (:"

Roses, babe.

Look at her, happy right? aha. Its from me of course happy la. (:

>.<

Imma treasure this 2 weeks with you babe. <3

You, my love.

Nobody wanna see us together.
Nobody thought we'd last forever
I feel I'm hopin' and prayin'
Things between us don't get better
Men steady comin' after you
Women steady comin' after me
Seem like everybody wanna go for self
And don't wanna respect boundaries
Tellin' you all those lies
Just to get on your side
But I must admit there was a couple secrets
I held inside
But just know that I tried
To always apologize
And I'ma have you first always in my heart
To keep you satisfied.

They watchin' everything I been doin'
Just to hurt you
Most of it just AIN'T you
Ain't true
And they won't show you
How much of a queen YOU are to me
And why I love you baby.

And i gon' fight, for the right to love you, my love.